Last day of 2022

Down to the last minutes of 2022, now is a good time to reflect on what exactly has changed from the 1st of January to 2022 to this particular second. Because I'm racing against the clock, this is gonna resemble verbal diarrhea. I will leave coherence to 2023.

I began 2022 with a short film. The parallels! I will begin 2023 with one too. But the major difference is that I have learned so impossibly much about what being an actor actually means. Next week - next year - my performance will carry the experience, training and understanding of an actor who has been through 2022. It's wild to think about, and I myself am amazed by just how far I have come as a performer, professional or not.

As a student, I managed to keep my honors classification which is a huge source of relief. I have never been a genius - smart enough to cling on to my place in the 6-year Integrated Programme and good enough for NUS, but I have never stood out as a Dean's Lister or the likes of it. For many years, I have struggled to keep afloat, and even though I am still not exceptional, I am honestly grateful that I am finally not struggling. It is such incredible feeling to finally be free of the pressure to perform, to push myself so hard just to meet someone's bare minimum. So even though my 4.5 is not nearly anywhere near the cream of the crop, I have made peace with my own abilities. In a way, this place is perfect. I am exactly where I need to be. I am happy, and I want to keep it like this.

Not that I won't push myself, but I will always put my life and happiness first. 2022 has taught me that few things are more important than surrounding myself with the people I love while I pursue my happiness. As we look into 2023, I will remember why I started and why I made the choices I made.

Onward.