Devising Journal #5

Week 5, 7th September 2022

Before this class, I visited Haw Par Villa alongside a few of my classmates.

We were supposed to let the space inspire us and to get what we can out of the culture that lies under the tale of Lady White Snake, so that we can determine a more appropriate response to the beliefs that fueled the original story. However, as we walked past intricate sculptures with unsettling eyes that seemed to follow our gaze, I could not help but notice that the idea of Chinese mythology is arranged around the female body and spirit as evil and untamed, while the male body and spirit is glorified and pure.

What's with all the bare chests? It seemed to me that the artistic reasoning behind the sculptures is to sensualize or sexualize the female body from the male perspective, which then provides justification for its demonization, which was very much in line with the research presentation I did the previous week. I thought it was interesting, even absurd, that parents bring their kids to see bare-breasted demons to teach them Asian values when this would never fly anywhere else in the same conservative mindset. The entire disconnect of bringing children to a place to scare them into submission while preaching Confucian or Buddhist values begin to make sense once we consider that religion and traditional values are ultimately arranged around the male gaze.

How women ought to behave around men, how children ought to behave around their parents, and how families arrange themselves around the will and ambition of the man. It boils down to that.

So I penned down this poem/lyric:

You think you know my future

Engraved it in stone

You think you know my story

For which I must atone

You think you know my destiny

You think you know my soul

You think you know what's meant to be

You think.

But I wonder if you know?

How much of me you've taken

Despite my clear conscience

I will never be forgiven

You claim to know me

You see my life, my story

But have you ever thought

To hear what I have to say?

I feel every strike of hate

That rains on my soul

I guess I was born

With this cross to bear

I trust that love exists

In the unlikeliest places

I know you have it

In your heart somewhere

My future, my story

(My destiny)

Engraved in stone

(Is meant to be)

Where I must die

(On my soul)

Alone (alone)

My rationale for the piece was to show Bai Suzhen's voice. I was tired of her being presented as a mother (good for men) or a demon (bad for men). I wanted this text to be about her. I wanted to share the story of Bai Suzhen, the woman, the individual, the free spirit. I presented this in class the next day, and our task was to reorganize this text into a performance. Beginning from a presentational movement piece, we eventually reshaped it into a full five-minute scene segment, and if we're lucky this may just find its way into the final performance.