Possibilities and futures

The last time I wrote, I was writing of possibilities and futures.

It's been, what, three weeks? And what a spectacular three weeks it was.

A short film, two musical theatre performances. Breakthroughs every voice lesson. A free ticket to WRT's Faghag. An incredible birthday. The beginning of my tech mentorship that is about to become something truly amazing (I just know it). The first alumni event in years. And so many more little moments that will belong in my core memories.

I meant every word I said when I penned that little post in r/nus that morning. We only turn 20 once. This beautiful moment in our lives will never happen again. And I felt that. I feel the magic of hearing my voice develop into its own instrument, carved from many vocalizations and tension release exercises. The joy, the love and the life I feel from being in the theatre, of waltzing under the waterfall, of testing negative day after day after a COVID scare - those are the moments that have made the first month of summer an unforgettable one.

There's the joy of knowing that you, a tiny little microbe crawling the surface of the earth, may have a chance to fly after all. You are a magically animated clump of stardust making every moment count, and sometimes when stardust catches light, we glow bright enough to be seen by universes. And sometimes when suddenly life throws it all at you, you take it and gracefully turn it into something beautiful. So many possibilities, so many futures. I'm just grateful for every step I took, and for every card I have been dealt.

This academic year has come to a beautiful close, and I will start Year 2 at NUS with a CAP of 4.67 - a score my wildest dreaming could not have foreseen. I woke up on Monday preparing for the worst, and the string of A's that flashed before my eyes just sent me. I did not think I cared much for my GPA or the corporate life, but in a society like this, I still felt some joy at getting that sweet, sweet sense of belonging and approval from the system, however twisted that might sound. I suppose the affirmation and encouragement means something to me, more than anything. 

Then the voice lessons. It has not been smooth sailing, as with all things, I struggle with calming my restless tongue and handling the machinery, with not tensing up my body, and with getting through breaks and singing notes accurately. My consonants and vowels are sorely lacking and I still need work, but what I know is that with every passing week, I am learning and growing, even if the skills are not showing up yet. I am finding my twang and my whine, the bright and dark parts of my voice, the connection between notes, and I finally do not feel frustrated because I am clueless. For all that I am right now, I have finally been set on what is hopefully the right trajectory towards my postgraduate ambitions in musical theatre performance. That is one of the goals that keep me going.

Academic Year 2022/2023

Next semester, I am planning on taking (module codes for reference) TS2240 Voice Studies and Production, TS2233 Making Contemporary Performance as well as TS2239 Major Playwrights of the 21st Century. There will likely be the core class(es) that I have to take, although I have not received any confirmation about the schedule for AY 2022/2023. Besides, I still do not know if NUS allows me to take YHU2319 Acting I, but it would absolutely be a dream if I could secure the module. I will be sending the emails soon. It's highly possible that I might be overloading just a wee bit this semester for the sake of acting class, and still. I would not give it up for anything. Conservatory is conservatory, I have to take what I'm given.

Update: I secured a spot in a 45 hour acting intensive! I'm excited to see what happens with this, but there is a chance I might go with both the Yale-NUS module and the intensive if I have the time (unlikely). Meanwhile, we're in talks for a reshoot of Small Town Carousel in late September/early October and I wonder if I might be able to work on getting into SRT or Wild Rice, although I'm kind of concerned about my schedule too. And looking at it right now, it does not look good. Haha. We'll see what I can squeeze into that poor overpacked schedule of mine. And still I plan on auditioning for NUS Stage.

I think I am just adapt at finding ways to burn myself out.

Well, whatever, this post is long overdue so I'll send it out of the oven. At long last.